We have been so busy. I have been so busy. The kids are wrapping up from different illnesses which is always fun. Levi had swine flu. That was the longest week of my life. We had one day of reprieve and then Matt got a double ear infection and thrush. So sleep has been minimal in our home.
I facilitate a class at church for surivivors of sexual abuse. Not just childhood, but all kinds. It’s amazing to me how many women I have sat and talked to that have been victimized inside their marriages. The numbers are astounding. The last four women I met with privately all have that story. I can’t wrap my mind around it. Out of that God has birthed this drive to help our youth. There are a lot of issues with doing this. It’s not easy. We (Ryan and some other church leaders) met with a detective of child sex crimes this past week and now I understand why the church has remained silent. However, it’s not a deterent for me. I will not allow these girls or boys to continue to be victimized or sit in silence suffering from past abuse. We will work out the details, the kinks and it will happen. it’s just going to take some time which i hate bc I fear that there is a kid who needs help right now. But it’s so difficult so we will do what we need to and we will help free some of these kids from current abuse and past abuse. I can’t sleep it’s all I think about.
This has made me think a lot ab my dad. He wasn’t sexually abused that I know of, but he was still wounded. Wounded early on as I was from his parents and other things. I am mad at myself bc we help people everyday like my dad recover from their past hurts. we offer grace to these people for their irrational behavior. Why was I able to extend that grace to a stranger and love on them but deny that to my father? I wonder how much he could have changed had we helped him…really helped him. I don’t know that he would ahve accepted it, but I also don’t know that he wouldn’t have. That’s where my culpability is. That is where I failed him. I think that knowledge is where this drive for these kids come in. I will use that guilt to change lives…I got big visions too and I can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store. Please pray for us as we embark on this journey and pray for protection. The enemy would love to ruin this and hold these kids in bondage longer.
Until next time….
PS Ryan finished up his MDIV!! I am so proud of him! Two masters under his belt now.
