It’s early Easter weekend and everyone is sleeping sound in my house still. I have been up for hours now…awakened early with a heavy heart. I just keep thinking about what this day means for me and other believers around the world. I think about the Cross…the fact that Jesus carried it for me…that He was nailed to it BECAUSE of me…and that He died on it to set me free. What love…and it saddens me because it was me that put Him there. He bore my sin so that I may have life.
And yet with such an act of love and mercy and grace…I have watched many others treat this weekend, Good Friday and even this morning, as if it were any other day. People who claim to love Jesus…who serve Him…who say that He is Lord of their life push Him to the side because something else came up. Sometimes I wonder if those that sit inside our walls fail to acknowledge the brilliance of what He did…of He is…is because we don’t want the responsbility inherent in that knowledge. I mean think about it for a minute. There is a difference between knowing something and believing something to be true. Our pastor talks about this all the time. He always says that if you say something isn’t good for you but you continue to do it, then you don’t really believe that to be true for you. Jesus is no exception here. Many say they believe in Him, but I wonder how many know that truth. Many say that He is Lord yet He’s not a priority. I am not claiming perfection here…there are many times Ryan and I begin to pursue things that are enticing and sometimes things that we think are “good things” but those things push Christ to the side. It’s a struggle for sure. But for many…I have had too many people tell me that grace essentially means that this life is for them and becuase of it, they are free to pursue whatever they wish and that God needs them more than they need Him. Seriously…I have heard these things.
Ryan and I do not buy our kids Easter presents. I don’t think that you are wrong if you do…we have just chosen not to turn this into a holiday for them. We do not want them to grow up thinking that Easter means presents for them. We want them to understand the fullness of the Cross. We want them to know that the Cross is their present. That eternal life is their gift. That HE is their prize.
And may Ryan and I never forget this truth. That HE is our prize. He is our JOY.
April 9, 2010 at 3:33 pm |
Your heaviness was felt on the other side of the world, I can assure you of that. For the entire duration of the weekend I was plauged with this sense of feeling like nobody cared…it was just another holiday weekend that meant an extra 2 days off work and school. I spend most of the weekend, like a dork baking bread of all things….never done it before in my life, but for some reason I simply had to spend an entire saturday baking loaf after loaf after loaf. Looking back on it, I think it was simply so that I could do something alone, withing myself so I didn’t have to be a part of what everyone else wanted to make the weekend. I won’t lie and tell you I managed to devote the whole weekend to solomn reflection, not that I think that’s what it’s about either – Easter is a time for celebration and joy, I simply had to keep my joy focused in the right direction even when those around me couldn’t….it wasn’t the most traditional weekend, but for that one day I was at peace and I felt like I was able to really rest in it all…it was my favorite time of the whole weekend oddly enough. I know it sounds weird and I can’t exactly explain it, I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone – and even though I’m like a whole day worth of time zones away – we’re still kind of on the same wave length
love you so much – i miss you more than ever (sort of choking me up right now
Talk to you soon!